Strom Thurmond was my wingman in college.
Not literally, of course. I only met him once, for about a minute in the spring of 2000. But I got a story out of that meeting that I would later tell to almost every girl I ever tried to impress. Part of that stems from the fact that I went to a university where people talk about politics all the time, but mostly it’s just a really funny story.
But I can’t tell it to you. It’s totally apolitical and G-rated. I now tell it in lots of non-date scenarios, including once in a successful job interview, but it would flop on a blog because to tell it right, I have to be able to touch your elbow at one point. The story falls apart without that gesture.
And that’s why I told it over and over again. Touching someone, even briefly, creates a bond. You’re creating a literal symbol of the personal connection you now share. It is powerful voodoo.
The holy grail of social media marketing is an act that replicates the psychological effects of a great handshake: familiarity, engagement and trust.
We’re not there yet. I don’t know if we ever will be. But it’s a worthy goal, because as ever more business is done online, we need to get better at circumventing the emotional distance that the Web creates. Here are six ways you can bridge that divide:
- Prove it. Broadcasting links to and posing questions to your followers is fine. But those things are just discussion fodder, and a discussion isn’t the same thing as a connection. A charismatic person can make you feel like you are the only other person in the world, not by asking you a question or telling you an interesting fact, but by showing a singular interest in you. The followup is everything. And that’s where a lot of community engagement falls apart. It’s not enough to listen or say you care. You have to find a way to prove it. Do something with what’s been said to you. When you show people you can really listen to them, they’re more likely to talk with you again in the future.
- Be specific. The conventional wisdom is that you need to be authentic to promote engagement. I think that’s missing the point — and it leads to all manner of badly executed “quirky” branding efforts. When people ignore branded communications, it’s not because of their formal tone. The reason press releases, blog posts and other branded media fall flat is because they’re full of vague, general statements aimed at a vaguely defined general audience. You have get specific in your language for people to feel like you’re actually speaking to them, not the crowd they’re standing in.
If a customer makes a suggestion, don’t say the company will take it under advisement. Say you’ll talk to Jane in sales about it and you’ll let the customer know. Both answers amount to the same thing, but the second one is specific and it leaves you accountable for following up. That creates a connection with the customer — provided you actually do what you say you will. - Give of yourself. When you touch a person in real life, you’re saying you don’t think there should be barriers between you. One way you can replicate that effect online is by ignoring the information wall that companies keep building between themselves and their customers. Leak the occasional detail about a new product in a response to a follower. Send someone a picture of their order coming together. Talk shop with anyone who’s curious about how you do what you do. Customers are bombarded by ads all day, and it makes them defensive. If you want them to let you in, you might have to make the first move.
- Change the venue. One way you can demonstrate your interest is by taking the conversation to another platform. If someone you’re not following mentions you on Twitter, follow them after you respond. If you’re already following each other, try moving the conversation to direct messages. Depending on how things are going, you might want to follow them on other social platforms. Facebook is seen as more personal than Twitter, which is more personal than LinkedIn. If you have a good budding relationship with someone on one network, moving up a level is a good way to strengthen it.
- Put it in writing. If you’ve got a blog, linking to a post or a comment someone made lets them know you’re paying attention and, more importantly, taking what they say into account. Or you can try posting video responses on YouTube. Making responses a central part of your social media presence is one of the most powerful ways you can prove your engagement. I know that sounds inefficient — what if you’re an enormous company with 10 million fans? Are you supposed to respond to everyone? No.
The funny thing about engagement is it becomes more powerful when you’re already a big deal. When a person expects to be ignored and gets a response instead, they go nuts and tell everyone. The Old Spice Guy campaign wasn’t just successful because Isaiah Mustafa was funny — it was because people were blown away by getting a response from someone they never expected to hear from. - Get the conversation offline. This can be especially useful if you’re trying to engage someone who enters the conversation with a chip on their shoulder. If the customer is upset, let them call you or set up a video chat. If a sales prospect is skeptical, maybe you need to meet them in person to seal the deal. Don’t let the the lure of social media keep you from making a human connection when you need to. Making the effort to let a person hear your voice can mean more than any of the words that will come out of your mouth.
What are you doing to touch your followers?
Image credit: blueenayim, via iStockPhoto
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Thanks for this great post. Really helpful.
Great post, Jesse. I like the power of touch. As an internet marketer and as a customer. And it works. Always. Everyone is looking for a human connection, especially when there's so many businesses online and it's freezing out there (yes, internet can be a really cold cold world) and I try my best to connect with my followers. I'm not connecting with people just because it's good for my business, but also because I like real people and I don't see them just as my cash flow. I see a lot of statements when people connect "I'm looking forward to get to know you", but it's mostly talk the talk. I like to walk the walk
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Thanks, Toffsy. BTW — you have an awesome name.
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Great post. So many think social media loses that connection, but you've helped show how to get it back!
Here's one that is works for me: when someone becomes a Fan of your Facebook Page, click on their profile and send a personal welcome and thank-you note. Most profiles, even though private, allow messaging to the person – button is top right on FB. Takes a few minutes each day but feels like the right thing to do…
Cheers – Ken
That's a good one — provided you can get the tone right. Nobody likes getting a form letter, so I try to do all my little thank you notes one at a time. And hitting the just the right note for each person is something I still struggle with — inviting but not overwhelming. As Liz Strauss says "You're only a stranger once" — so you need to make those initial interactions count.
Ken, I do the same thing. If someone takes the time to reach out, why not reach back? Often meetings are very cursory, so when you actually take the time to let someone know that you appreciate their efforts, it makes a big different. Great post, thanks!
Jesse, best post I've read all year – and one of my resolutions is to read/respond to a lot of posts… I agree with you on so many facets of this post but one in particular is your comment that, "It’s not enough to listen or say you care. You have to find a way to prove it. Do something with what’s been said to you." Very well said.
Far too often, folks ignore @ replies – even to questions they have posed to their Twitter communities. To me, that's like approaching a group of people at a Tweet-up, asking them how they like the music, and then ignoring their replies. It's rude and will certainly inhibit future attempts to connect…
I accept your point that large commercial account (and celebrities) with enormous followings cannot be expected to reply to every @ reply – nor can you and I. But most users should be able to reply back to others (more often than not) who have taken the time to initiate contact or respond to a question posed.
Sometimes, "do(ing) something with what’s been said to you" simply requires a reply. Other times, it requires something more. I've donated to causes, mailed books, bought products, referred business, met for lunch, sent holiday cards, and even ran @TheBeerWench to the airport in Denver – at 7am no less… ; )
It bums me out to think of the relationships I would have forfeited over the past couple of years by not doing something and choosing indifference over engagement.
Steve @enthused
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Thanks Steve — though the year is young. Coming up with even loose guidelines for engagement is tough because every relationship is a little different. Sounds like your heart is in the right place though. Thanks for reading!
My favorite – -> Prove It. Thanks for a great reminder.
p.s. I agree with Ken & Nicki, nothing says it better than an actionable 'thank you.'
Indeed a great post. You really have to communicate well with follow-up and not just for the sake of building links and getting noticed, you have to really proved. Nice point.
The idea that everyone forgets is that you are building an on-going conversation. Conversation is key!
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I share the idea of science illiteracy as one of the urgent social problems of today. It reveals the trend to take things easier than they are. Now we have the breed of "Users and Owners", not the "Creators and Wonderers"
Your post reminds me of the whole point of @Tom_Peters new book "The Little Big Things." The things that matter most, to most of us, are those moments of intimacy where we connect with another person. It's something that belongs to the people engaged in the interaction – whether online or offline. The story about Strom Thurmond is a great lead in. Regardless of what the details are, it was a big deal that belongs to you and no one else. I think we need to strive to create those moments for other people. The reward is twofold because we each get something back ourselves when we do that. Really great post Jesse!
Thanks for the post, it was interesting to read
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[...] first is a recent blog post from the SmartBlog on Social Media. This article focuses on how to close the emotional gap that the Web creates between customers and [...]
I am the manager/sales person for a very small company (nine employees including myself). I think a message/post that would make someone smile is another key ingredient in a business relationship.
The thing I try to do other than shake hands is to get a smile from my customers. It definitely gives the impression that you are sincerely interested in that person.
We provide a long term product for the home. If I want to get more than one sale from an individual I have to make that impression right off the bat. Trust is the watchword when dealing with someones home.
The same thing can be done in social media settings. It is a bit more difficult without physical interaction but it is possible.
Kenny
Best article on engagement that I've ever read, Jesse! Thank you. I'm literally sharing this everywhere. One small point I feel compelled to make is that in #2, you talk about specificity and authenticity as though authenticity is an opposite of specificity – I see them as two very separate aspects, and both extremely important. I may be missing what inspired you to say that advice to be authentic is missing the point in this discussion about being specific. If you have more insights to share about your thought process there, I'd be very interested in them.
Again, well done!!
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Michelle,
It's a gossamer fine line, but as I see it, authenticity is a question of tone, and specificity is a question of content. They should go hand in hand. Ideally, you'll have both. But if I had to choose between engaging someone with a great tone (but didn't really pass along any info) and engaging someone who was stiff and corporate (but willing to share information with me) I'll take the second one every time. Being conversational shouldn't be used as an excuse for being vague. That's all. — Jesse
Gotcha! You're saying valuable content with a little formality trumps genuine friendliness without useful content, yes? Totally agree w/that! Thanks for expounding!
My recent post Really How Committed Are you to Caring About Your Customers
It IS a good post indeed. That's why we call those "touchpoints" – they really are (or should be).
[...] [...]
The conventional wisdom is that you need to be authentic to promote engagement. I think that’s missing the point — and it leads to all manner of badly executed “quirky” branding efforts. When people ignore branded communications, it’s not because of their formal tone. The reason press releases, blog posts and other branded media fall flat is because they’re full of vague, general statements aimed at a vaguely defined general audience. You have get specific in your language for people to feel like you’re actually speaking to them, not the crowd they’re standing in
So refreshing to read such a well written article on social media! Thank you for posting this. I'll talk to Jane in sales and get back to you! : )
Well just loved the post and in fact I cannot agree with it more. Working with few big brands in Indian market, have realized that though its virtual but what the users are looking for and expecting is the personal touch. I still remember there was this user who was pointing fingers at every go and when the user got an opportunity to discuss his anguish with the DGM of the company over a phone…He ended up becoming the biggest brand evangelist on the community.
I appreciated the content in this post. I don't have tons of followers but try to always respond to everyone. I like the thank you for following (liking!) idea – I'll try that. I also liked the reminder about touching someone's elbow – just that mental picture will help me as I market my business across the board – even if the applications are different than you have stated
This is the most refreshing and well-put article on social media engagement I've read in a while.. keep em coming Jesse, I'm listening
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i m new with this i like to learn things
The power of following up can not be underestimated. It builds trust at the end of the day and quickly too!
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[...] a funny story: I’ll tell you the infamous Strom Thurmond’s elbow story, along with a variety of other strange and wonderful [...]
[...] must admit Jesse Stanchak post on “The power of touch: How we misunderstand social media engagement” is one the most insightful posts I have seen on building and nurturing engagement on social [...]