I learned something powerful about my own social network last year, as I slogged my way through a protracted job search. The weaker my bond with someone is, the more comfortable I am asking he or she to do something utterly ridiculous on my behalf.

My reasoning went like this:

  • If I ask one of my best friends to set me up with an interview and he or she balks, I’ve run the risk of hurting that relationship — or at least making things awkward between us.
  • If I ask this guy I met at that party that one time to set me up with an interview, I won’t be hurt if he says no. After all, why would he help me out? We barely know each other. If he does, that’s a great way to deepen the friendship, but I’m not losing anything special if he says no.

The reward is the same in both cases. Risk is the only variable. I was willing to risk the relationships that were cheap first. In a few cases, that gamble paid off, and I actually established a stronger bond with a previously weak tie. And here’s the corollary: I didn’t even need to ask people who really cared about me for help. They looked for ways to help me without my having to say a thing.

What’s that have to do with social media? Think about Dunbar’s Number — the famed 150-person maximum on the number of strong ties our minds can maintain. There’s a debate raging now about whether that cognitive limit puts a cap on social-marketing efforts. But I think the real question is, “Does your social strategy make the distinction between strong and weak ties?”

I think every organization looking to put its social presence to work needs to realize that you have to cater to strong and weak fans. You’ll have a few passionate fans that you can rely on to help you — as long as you do your part to keep up the relationship. These are the people who laud you on Twitter for no reason or post your content on Facebook without being asked. They’re your brand advocates. Take care of those people.

But you’ll also have a sea of weak ties that you can put to work if you’re willing to motivate them. They won’t be there for you 100% of the time — or even 1% of the time — but you’ll still find folks who are willing to go to bat for you. Even if most people you ask for help ignore you, it doesn’t cost you a thing to put yourself out there. When someone does respond to your request, make sure you follow up and work to strengthen that tie. Remember that you never know where your next strong tie will come from.

How are you making the distinction between strong and weak relations in your social campaign? Any people feel like they’ve got more than 150 close ties?

Image credit, fpm, via iStock

Related Posts

  • No Related Posts Found

7 Responses to “2 social media friends everyone needs”

  1. Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by THGBusiness: 2 social media friends everyone needs: I learned something powerful about my own social network last year, as I sl… http://bit.ly/au92rL...

  2. Howie says:

    Love the post. My specific issue when it comes to Social Media Marketing is getting the marketing effort seen even if just briefly as an ‘impression’. Even with only 120 people who I follow on Twitter the massive volume of Tweets sent by that group are overwhelming. I only read 10-15% of the. On Facebook I have about 450 connections + about 100 pages I am fans of. While most fan pages are not active my connection base is. So every time I log in I see 300+ updates to the news feed that I have not seen. I always read the first page, which is 25 and that is it. so 275 go unseen by me.

    Now if someone I am connected too sends me a private message asking for help with a job search I will see it and probably act upon it. But if it is posted in the news feed I will probably never see it.

    So there really needs to be a realistic goal when it comes to social networks on a personal and a social media marketing level. Zappos has over 1 million followers on Twitter yet the CEO rarely tweets anything of value related to the brand…go figure. And while I do see Brands making efforts with give aways etc it is still a very small ecosystem right now. I bet more people see a McDonalds billboard on the 405 Freeway in LA in 1 hour than the 13,000 followers on Twitter see their tweets.

    Social Networks are just another tool added to the collection of ways we can all communicate and interact. Use it wisely. Don’t expect more than reality.

  3. Wonderful post Jesse, I am always drawn to your writing. I particularly like this part:
    “You’ll have a few passionate fans that you can rely on to help you — as long as you do your part to keep up the relationship. These are the people who laud you on Twitter for no reason or post your content on Facebook without being asked. They’re your brand advocates. Take care of those people.”

    This is a very good point to make. I often see heavy influencers ignore the people that support them (their brand advocates), and/or don’t reciprocate the same attention ie; link shares, mentions, etc.

  4. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by SmartBrief on SocMed, Curt Moss, Mahdi Gharavi, Cynthia Smoot, Cary M. Silverman and others. Cary M. Silverman said: RT @sbosm 2 social media friends everyone needs http://bit.ly/9H4CPW [...]

  5. Jesse Stanchak says:

    Howie — usually when I ask someone for help, I try to do it in a way that’s both private and public. What do I mean by that? On Facebook, I’ll post an item to their wall. For most people, that triggers an email alert, which makes sure they see my request. That request is still visible to others however, which encourages my friend to respond to me, but also gets the world out to others that I’m looking for help with a particular thing.

    I want to get someone’s attention on Twitter, I’ll post a message publicly AND direct message them. Same effect.

    That said, the best outreach platforms are usually the oldest. E-mail lists and message boards with very active communities are great ways to seek out help in a public-private way. Those platforms tend to have a smaller number of dedicated users who are more willing to lend a hand. The tricky part is finding a venue that works for you.

    One more tip — the more important the request is to you, the more important it is to ask for help one person at a time. When I ask my entire list of Twitter followers to re-tweet me, I’m ok with 99.9 percent of them ignoring me. When I’m asking for job help or something similar, I want the response rate to be much higher, so I’m going to talk to people one-on-one as much as possible. When you turn to just one person at a time, you’re making that person feel special. when you turn to the crowd, you lose that effect.

  6. Jesse Stanchak says:

    Loren Rochelle — That’s incredibly kind of you to say. Thanks so much for reading.

    On the reciprocation question — I think part of the problem is that the etiquette on the subject is a long way from standardized. For example: some people say you should thank every person who retweets you, each and every time. But for larger accounts that are re-tweeted like crazy, that’s just not an option. It would make the account unreadable.

    Here’s my very broad guideline: Reward the exceptional. You want to make sure that you’re always taking care of your biggest fans. The more someone rises above the crowd to help you, the more certain you need to be that you’re giving back to them. That means your baseline will probably shift as you become more successful, but you’ll keep an eye on the people you rely on the most.

  7. [...] 2 social media friends everyone needs (smartblogs.com) [...]

Leave a Reply