Guest blogger Joseph Grenny recently tackled the topic of the human aversion to tough talks. He provided six great tips for having those difficult conversations. I would like to advocate that human resources staffers and managers everywhere take those tips to heart and use them to talk to employees about the way they are dressing for work.
I must disclose that I am one of those self-appointed members of the rogue fashion-police who walk through life noticing everyone’s fashion foibles. It drives me nuts to see men running around in shorts with black socks jacked up nearly to their knees, and I go crazy every time I see a woman’s pantyhose peeking out of her peep-toe shoes. If I were just a bit bolder, I would carry tickets and issue fashion citations wherever I went.
But that’s not what I’m here to write about today. Those fashion crimes aren’t unprofessional, just awfully uncool. As much as I’d like them to be, most offices aren’t fashion houses and don’t need to be. What they do need is to be filled with people who show up in professional, work-appropriate attire — something that doesn’t happen too much of the time.
Between commuting on the Metro and frequenting D.C.’s central business-area lunch spots, I see hundreds of people each week — most of whom, like me, are either coming from or going to work. Nearly every day, I see people sporting clothing choices that are grossly inappropriate for the workplace.
Of late, the most popular offense I’ve seen is the scandalously short skirt. This crime is commonly committed by younger workers, but don’t blame it all on Gen Y because there are plenty of Gen Xers and even some sad, sad Boomers who think it’s perfectly acceptable to show a lot of leg at the office. To this I say, “Not true, ladies!” Even if your legs could rival Tina Turner’s, show them off after work, over the weekend or on vacation, not at the office. When you head to work, your skirt should be no more than an inch or two above your knee — no exceptions.
Other common crimes include revealing too much chest, stomach or rear; dressing in overly casual apparel; wearing articles with holes, rips, stains or excessive wrinkling; confusing flip-flops for shoes; and squeezing into too-small items. And never forget the many mishaps related to bras. Just last week I saw a woman who was wise enough to wear one, but unfortunately her pick was so flimsy it left absolutely nothing to the imagination. YIKES!
It would be great if we could count on our employees and co-workers to turn up dressed appropriately each day, but clearly that dream is not going to magically become reality. Still, there is something HR folks and bosses everywhere can do — have that scary conversation!
Inappropriate clothing choices can have a number of negative effects in the workplace, including:
- Making co-workers and clients uncomfortable.
- Taking people’s attention away from work.
- Damaging relationships with clients.
Those are the business reasons to have the talk. And there’s another reason: His or her choices may be harming the fashion-offender’s ability to achieve their potential at work and advance as they would hope. So, while it may seem harsh or unpleasant to have a conversation in which you tell an employee that his or her clothing is inappropriate, it is in fact the kindest, most professional thing you can do.
So gather your courage, Joseph Grenny’s tips and a few of mine:
- Talk in terms of work appropriateness, don’t make it about good/bad fashion.
- Give specific examples of what the employee is wearing that’s inappropriate and why.
- Give specific examples of clothing that would be better to wear for work.
- Bear in mind that a suggestion to buy more clothes might stress out someone who is strapped for cash, so help brainstorm inexpensive ways to build a more appropriate wardrobe.
Image credit, emreogan, via iStock
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Great guidelines! To keep is simple, I alway say: If you can wear it to go clubbing, if you can wear it to sleep in, if you can wear it to mow the back 40 in….NEVER wear it to work.
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This should be the supervisor's responsibility – not HR.
These seem to be offenses attributed primarily to women employees (not saying that was your intent) – so I think some care has to be taken in these discussions to avoid what could be perceived as sexism.
Well said and could not agree more! As an observer of human behavior, the question to be asked is "Where do they get these ideas that such dress is appropriate?" As someone who worked in corporate, a public educator as a third career and now a business owner, I believe much of it has to do with the inappropriate clothing worn by educators. When you cannot tell the difference between the students and the teachers, this suggests a big problem. These young people have 12 to 16 years of conditioning as to what they should wear as a professional. Who can blame them with the choices they make.
Thanks for all of the comments! I'm excited to see that this is producing so much conversation. I wanted to respond to G's comment. I'm definitely aware that the article highlights a lot of offenses that are specific to women in the workplace. I don't think it's sexist, though. Whether we like it or not, men and women wear different clothing — both in and out of the office. Just head down to your local department store and you'll see that men have fewer choices, which makes for fewer opportunities to go wrong in the workplace. For example, have you ever seen a man revealing too much skin at work? I haven't.
Still, men can go wrong in the workplace by showing up in clothes or shoes that are too casual, or in items that are too small, too big, too wrinkled, etc. Usually, though, these mistakes are less glaringly obvious than bursting cleavage, a peeking thong or a mini skirt.
In short, while workplace fashion may be more of a challenge for women, it's not sexist, it's just a fact of life that will remain until we all convert to a unisex, jumpsuit-based wardrobe like the crew of the Starship Enterprise.
It's not sexist to point out that this is an area of concern that occurs more often with women employees. It's a statement of fact.
The men in my office wear suits, I might not like a particular suit (there's a pinstripe downstairs that is heinous) but it would be very strange for it not to be suitable for work.
Occasionally in some offices men might dress too casually but there are 90 inappropriately dressed women for every 10 men.
Leanne Smith lays grownups' poor wardrobe choices at the teacher's door! Wow! Please, people, let's not look for ways to put everything on the beleagured teacher. Everyone has parents who are responsible for table manners, waiting in line, merging alternately and dressing appropriately. True, many educators (and others!) dress shamefully poorly but come on! What will we blame on educators next? "Dressing up" means different things to different people and if you're the first in your family to have gone to college you're lacking all kinds of role models. Let's just discuss the nondiscussables with a little empathy, shall we?
Great Article!
How about some other "never break" rules:
1) No Flip-flops
2) If you're not sure if it's appropriate….it's not,
3) If your 15 year old daughter tried to leave the house in it to go to school, and you'd have a cow, don't wear it
4) "Less is more" applies to accessories/jewelry, not clothing
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